How to Make Change Feel Easier
Disclaimer: This blog post is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your healing journey. I am not a psychologist, therapist, or medical doctor. I do not offer any medical or professional advice. If you are suffering from mental illness, please seek help from a qualified health professional.
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Making any change can feel difficult and depending on your current state, maybe it feels nearly impossible. My blog is full of resources to help you change your thoughts, subconscious mind, identity, and behaviors that will lead you to where you really want to be in life.
But I totally get how hard it can feel to make changes. Especially if you’re like me and you’re super ambitious and want to make DRASTIC lifestyle changes from what you’re currently doing. It can feel overwhelming and discouraging if you’ve tried and failed so many times.
Why is change so hard in the first place?
Humans are hardwired to need structure and routine to function daily. The human brain thrives off of doing the same thing all the time. When you’re locked into a routine, your brain and body can function on auto-pilot and maintain homeostasis (an internal sense of safety, stability, and comfort). Humans are naturally drawn toward this feeling.
Same/familiar lifestyle = Homeostasis (Internal safety, stability, and comfort)
Change of routine = Stress response is triggered
If you have been living in constant stress, nervous system dysregulation, and general unhappiness, over time this might become your familiar lifestyle. This means that trying to break out of this cycle will most likely come with some level of difficulty and a feeling of resistance.
Once you get into the habit of a certain lifestyle, your brain and body get comfortable with it. This is why people get stuck in stressful jobs, toxic relationships, etc–it feels safe to them because it is familiar!
I know it might seem odd to think that a stressful lifestyle could bring someone an internal sense of comfort, but it’s true. And it’s why people stay stuck and never achieve their dreams.
If the brain has to focus on doing something new, it takes more energy to move throughout the day. The brain always wants to take the path of least resistance when it comes to our daily decisions. When we disrupt our normal day-to-day patterns, it triggers the stress response in the nervous system and throws the body off balance. This can feel like anxiety, fatigue, or general resistance to the change we’re trying to make. This high alert state is too energetically demanding on the body. So naturally, you’ll want to fall back into old patterns to return to the old internal sense of comfort.
Obviously, this is a problem when our same/familiar internal stability is constant stress, working a low income job, being in toxic relationships, etc.
Consciously you may want to change your unhappy lifestyle, but it feels more stressful to make a change. How frustrating!
Of course, ideally we want our goals fulfilled to be our familiar lifestyle that keeps our body to homeostasis! Whether that be a successful relationship, a career goal, an internal feeling, higher income, a solid friendship group, a fun opportunity, more discipline, to become a morning person….it’s all possible when these things become our internal sense of familiarity.
And it is completely possible for these things to be our “normal” too!
But how do we do that without overwhelming our nervous system?
Here are a few ways I’ve been able to “beat” my nervous system by making lasting changes without overwhelming my body into the stress response.
1. Make small changes.
Think about making a 1% change every day. This is called the Compound Effect. When you make teeny-tiny changes every day, over time, you will get to where you want to go, and your nervous system will not get overwhelmed. The change should be so small, you should barely even notice a difference!
Think back to the childhood fable, The Tortoise and the Hare. Who made it to the finish line first? Not the hare, who knew he was fast and then dilly-dallied the entire time. The tortoise, who went at a slower, steady pace, is the one who made it!
For more inspiration on the Compound Effect, I would read this book! It’s a quick read and it’s super motivating. You really do only need to make small efforts over time to get where you want to go.
Book recommendation: The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
2. Make realistic goals.
If you’re someone who is having a hard time reaching a goal, make a goal that seems like NO BIG DEAL. Avoid making goals that are too different than what you’re doing now. For example, if you hate exercising, don’t plan to start working out every morning from now on at 5:00am for 2 hours and lift the heaviest weights. This abrupt change, as mentioned earlier, will trigger your body into stress and overwhelm, and you’ll most likely revert back to your old, unwanted habits.
Instead, try to add 15 minutes of movement every other day. Or maybe even put your gym clothes on when you get home from work, and that’s it! You have to start small. Really small. These realistic goals will change as you continue to achieve the “easy” ones, but it also increases self confidence as you go.
For more on learning how people actively build new habits as easily as possible, this book is excellent. There are so many good tips to “hack” your brain into easily falling into new habits.
Book recommendation: Atomic Habits by James Clear
3. Be consistent.
Being consistent should be easier when you are making small enough changes that you hardly notice a difference in your daily routine. But remember, small changes every day add up over time. Hence, you have to do it every day in order for it to make a difference!
Stacking habits is a great way to do this. Do you want to be better at tidying up before bed? Do 5 minutes of tidying after something you already do every evening, like brushing your teeth. Stacking habits is a great way to stay consistent without feeling like you’re starting something brand new.
4. Add some optimism into your morning routine.
As cliche as it is, it really does make a big difference. Try out an affirmation that stretches your beliefs a little bit and gets you thinking positively first thing in the morning. I know this is a habit in and of itself, but it’s one that takes no time! You can do it while you’re getting dressed, brushing your teeth, or driving to work.
One I like recently is, “Something unexpectedly amazing might happen to me today!” It puts me in the frame of mind to look for all the good things happening around me. It also puts me in a state of receiving for my manifesting friends!
Creating a new lifestyle for yourself doesn’t have to feel impossible. By making small changes gradually, staying consistent, setting realistic goals, and incorporating optimism into your morning routine, transformation is inevitable. Truly!
Remember that every teeny-tiny step forward is a step closer to your dreams. You deserve to live a life that feels fulfilling, rewarding, and exciting! Most importantly, you deserve a life that feels like the real you.
